Midterms' still hunting me

Yes, midterms is done and I'm not satisfied with the answers in my Customs1 exam. But I'm pretty sure I nailed my Tariff1 exam and not bad for Taxation1 exam. Ugh. I guess, the way I revise all of the lessons isn't my best yet. And guess what, I just had my declamation for our my Speech Comm class yesterday and my performance is just so lame. Well, it's because I'm not prepared, I memorized it 2 hrs before I perform, and I'm surprised because I am the first to perform. It isn't my plan, my plan is to be atleast the 3rd to perform for me to get an idea on how to deliver that freaking prose. If only I wasn't chosen to perform first, I might got the best performance ever yesterday. I'm so depressed. I want to get the best grades cos I wanna belong to the 1st section class next sem. :(
Damn it, I'm starting to be competitive already with my school buddies, I wanna overcome this..no, not that I need to overcome, I need to at least control this kind of attitude. Because I won't be motivated anymore if ever I'll surpass being competitive. I just want to be as good as they were in class. I'm feeling so stupid already, I wanna be the most intelligent person in our class... I swear I'm gonna study hard..

Photo taken after the declamation.