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 Happy New Year!

So I just got home..and... all I can say is that, I started the first day of 2014 right..I guess so..
First of all, here's my first 2 selfies for this year. haha. I took a photo of myself as I woke up (1/1/14)

not bad for the first selfie

well, I look good here. huehue

 And cuddled with the newest baby in the house, meaty's baby, yuki =)

Year end blog post

I seriously don't know where to start, because first of all, I didn't feel the breeze of Christmas nor the New Year at all.

21st. Going to Bicol.
Here's a photo of me with my bf inside the bus. Hinatid niya lang naman ako

Question: do you agree that my bf looks gay? Cos I do.. 

A poem for my late mommy

Listening to the song of Danny,

suddenly thought about my mommy.

And why my eyes are getting teary?

Oh my mommy I miss you badly.

Sun rises and the telephone rings,

saying she'll take me to her office.

Inside the car, sitting beside her,

I end up spending the night with her.

Not bad for my first Valentine's day experience

I was expecting that my first valentine will be memorable. yes actually it's memorable, but it's memorable in a way that I don't wanna remember it anymore. I am so disappointed. I am not the one who asked for a date, it's him. But, ok, to make the story short, he didn't make his commitment, instead of us having a date, he decided to just watch the band with me and his friends. It's not a big deal actually to celebrate valentine's day by just watching the band with his friends, but my point is, a commitment is a priority, and not an option. I don't want people talkshitting me...you know, you guys decided what to do this day already but then suddenly, it'll be ruined just because of not doing your commitment. It ain't nice.

Spend my night with him, he's asleep and I'm crying the whole night beside him. As he woke up, he asks for an apology, of course, I'll accept it, what else I can do?

We'll get through it

We're in a weird stage right now...and I don't know how to handle it.
To tell you honestly, I'm so confused with our relationship right now. It's like we're already comfortable with each other that we already forgot the relationship that we had. Oh well, I'm visiting you as long as I have enough time..we're eating together...sleep together.... then all of a sudden, with just a misunderstanding, it's like we already forget who we really are and what's the relationship between us. We're totally fucked up....or should I say...I just suck.

You never care

You said I'm important to you yet I don't even feel it.
You said I'm your first priority but it seems like I'm just an option.
You said you love me so much, but you're giving me so much pain.
I remember the day you said "I'm in between" cos you both love me and your friends, but how dare you say such words without even knowing my side?
How dare you left me behind just for the fantasy of your friends?
I want us to be just fine..a happily in love couple.
I want you to reach out to me.
I want to see your efforts.
I want you to help me save our relationship.
I want you to make things happen..but you're doing nothing.

You didn't even send me a text message. You saw me online then that's the time you'll ask for an apology? You can pay the pc rental but you can't pay a cellphone load to text me even a very lame text message? Man, that ain't right. I want to see your sincerity.

Do you even know what I am feeling right now? NO right? I'll bet my life on that cos I know and I can feel that you never care at all..

speechless

I actually don't know what to say now but damn, I want to have a job. I want to earn money. I want to have my own money other than my parents are giving me for my school bills and allowance. I want to be employed. That's all I want for now. I am not contented of being a student only. I want to be productive. I want to get busy yet I don't want to be stressed out as well.
I'm actually looking for a call center company here...near Intramuros but I found nothing..they're all located from a far..somewhere in Makati, Ortigas, Cubao.
I thought of applying in one of the call centers in Makati but I find it very stressful cos I need to ride on a train, lrt and mrt beofre I get there. Very stressful.

Err. I just want to have a job. That's it. I want to earn money. I am not used of not having my own money anymore ever since I started working. Oh please help me Lord :((

Another reason why I want to get busy

Here at Cherry Blossoms Hotel right now. I visited my friend last night from her vacation at HK. Actually, I'll visit her supposedly today but I visited her last night for a very embarrassing reason. Me and my bf and his friends are at MOA to hang out and booze. But, I just felt really embarrassing because my bf's friends keeps on teasing me, but it's okay though cos I know how to bang with them anyway... til my bf said like stop teasing her already, she might got offended. Then I got offended right after he said those words. That pisses me off. Then suddenly I felt like I'm gonna throw up cos I ate a lots of rice and I thought my stomach can stand it but no... So I felt like very dizzy then. And it was so cold at MOA! I went to the restroom then vomit like a few shits. Well I know that I walk so damn slowly, and my bf doesn't really like that attitude. But that's me, and to think that I threw a few shits, who do you think can walk normally with that situation? I mean on my situation? So I'm walking like I'm on the moon with my arms crossed.

90/10 PRINCIPLES

Have you ever heard about 90/10 PRINCIPLES?
Well, this is what I've learned when I'm still working as CSR at Sutherland. I've received an e-mail from one of my co-worker, and the content was about 90/10 Principles. At first, I find it very weird, but upon reading its content, it's very interesting that I even decided to apply it in real life.


Lemme ask you this, what's the first thing that comes to your mind from the moment you utter 90/10 PRINCIPLE?
For sure you guys are wondering if what's the difference between 90% and 10% right? Or should I say, what's the real essence of 90 over 10?


Let's go over first about 10%, 10% of our life is made up of what happens to us. It only means that we have no control over 10% of what happens to us. Like for example, can we stop the plane that's about to crash? NO RIGHT? We have no control over this 10%.
And 90%? Well 90% of our life is decided by how we react..
Now let me relate this post as to what happened between me and my closest friend that I met in Sutherland....

Til when will I hide this pain?

I don't really loved you so much in the first place. I even hated myself for being your girlfriend. I really don't get it why I said yes to you when in fact I'm in love with the other guy. You even know who that is. I got confused then, cos I know in myself that I love him more, it's him that I really want. Yes, I liked you, but it's him that I love.

We're getting real weird

I really don't know what's happening. We easily get annoyed with each other. He seems to be like a scammer nowadays. He said he'll call me the next day, but when that day comes, I receive nothing. He's not even calling me anymore. And we keep on quarreling even about the simplest things. And most of all, I don't feel his love anymore, yet I still love him and I really want to understand him. Maybe it's because of the message I read on his fb.

Should I give up now?

What I know is that I gave all that I can just to work out our long distance relationship...and he didn't. I don't know what to do but to stand with the words I gave to him that I can't take fighting for our relationship anymore.
Well it's our 7th monthsary yesterday and I'm hoping that he'll text me or much better if he'll call me like the way boyfriends usually do whenever it's monthsary. He forgot our 6th monthsary so I am really expecting that this time, he won't forgot our 7th monthsary since he told me that he won't forget our monthsary anymore. So Okay...I gave him a chance.

Distance increases, Love decreases

So I guess I can prove my post title true. Why? Simply because I'm on that stage at this very moment. I mean, I know my bf loves me but, I don't know if he still love me like the way he does before right now.
It's just that before, he always sent me a text message that made me feel like so secured. But now, even the 3 important words that I used to save in my inbox, he didn't send those and he made me feel like unloved nowadays.

So I guess it's OVER now...

 

I really don't know if what's the status of our relationship right now. I mean, what's wrong with us? What's the problem between us?

Okay, We fought just this week and I didn't replied to his text messages for almost 3 days. But since I love him, I sent him a msg him and cleared things out.

I got involved :/

Sha, Aron's gf texted me saying 'Tet. I have something to tell you'. After I read her text message, I feel nervous, not knowing why, then I replied, 'O? What?' She replied, 'I saw the messages that aron sent to you, he's really flirt! I asked him many times if he really loves you, well it's okay to me to know if it still has because I know your past guys, but the thing is, he lied to me that he don't, he's such a flirt'. lol, here's the print screen of the messages that Aron sent to me.

I just missed him

lol. I can't sleep..coz I'm chatting with my boyfriend via fb. haha

Damn. I miss him so much. We seldom see each other nowadays because he isn't feeling well, I mean..he has a lots of wounds in his face because he got an accident in his motorcycle. We saw each other last May 18.

We went to Nabua to eat street foods, but the street foods that I'm expecting in Nabua isn't no longer available, so I'm quite disappointed. Err.

silly. lol

Damn. I hate the feeling of being dumped. But atleast we're okay now. But, I was somewhat bothered about us being okay..I mean, I'm not that comfortable knowing that we're okay now. It's really weird. ://

Okay, I'm asking for a break up with him yesterday, may 16, at around 12nn, I guess. The reason why I'm asking for break up is because he's being so very sensitive. And he was like really asking for break up. I was just kidding that he'll need to deliver the Greenwhich Lasagna here in my house and then..he was like angry then he said that I just don't want to see him that's why I asked him to just deliver the greenwhich lasagna. So sensitive. Then I said, no, I was just kidding..we'll eat later..And then he said no, I don't want to see you either. Err. So I said, okay..I'm not asking you to understand me anyway, but please just don't judge nor conclude right away just because of my joke. And guess what, he was like asking for a break up. So I said, well okay, if that's what you're asking..then I'll give up...we're done.

speechless. confused.

Damn. I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. I feel sad yet somewhat happy. I don't know. Am I sad because we're fighting again? Or am I happy because I love him? It was like a mixed emotions that you really don't know how to explain bout what you are feeling right now. Parang nagsasawa na ako sa kanya. Pero ayaw ko naman siyang iwan kasi mahal ko siya. Nakakapanghina ng loob.

i am thinking of..

Cappucino
Lol.. I don't wanna fall in love with him cos I am not sure if he really loves me. Cos if he loves me, well, he'll exert an effort for me to give him a chance even if I say NO to him. Yes, I said NO cos hello, he was just saying he loves me when he's drunk..he's not saying those words when he's not drunk so that's quite confusing if he really loves me or not right?? I actually asked for a sign that..if he say that he loves me when he's sober, Imma give him a chance..yet..I still want to see his effort. haha.

Ramp Down

Yesterday. My supervisor called me while I'm taking in calls and asked me to go on Aux 10 (it was like a break time..a huddle) OMG. I'm feeling nervous and feeling like there's something wrong..then I went to my supervisor's station and saw the e-mail stating that I was endorsed to the other account which is the newest account, Intuit QBG.